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Blonde Files: ABC’s The Bachelorette
Well yesterday was reveal day as ABC’s The Bachelorette released it’s 25 card deck and gallery of guys that will be vying for Desiree Hartsock’s heart in the 9th installment of The Bachelorette. I have to say though this lot looks pretty good – they still can’t rival that of my favorite crop of boys from Ali Fedotowsky’s season 6.
This year ABC did a little something different. The savvy PR/Web Asset designer’s thought “Hey let’s put some of their chicken scratch from their questionnaire’s online.” Well I am not a damn graphologist – so their illegible handwriting isn’t going to tell me squat. Rather it’s just going to prove who passed the first grade unit on cursive and those who failed with answers resulting in “I idolize my fahjja#%aoid^)%oasd ao#%&*sdfanl.” – case and point, chicken scratch.
So what can you expect from this bunch -
1. An average height of about 6′ 2″ with about 5 guys 6′ 4″ and over. (See I told ya – they cast her the tall ones!)
2. A few Dad’s – and undoubtedly some Baby Mama Drama. So far there are at least 3 with little tikes.
3. A lot of really bad taste in movies including but not limited to The Lucky One, The Goonies, Transformers (about 4X over) and The Notebook - cheers to you romantic saps!
4. Some serious Doppelgangers including two guys who I swear could be in the original cast of Brink from the Disney Channel!
5. Some SERIOUS potential! Read carefully ladies. They may need a handwriting class, a box of tissues for your ron-com dates but this lot has got some good solid guys looking for love! I wouldn’t be surprised if we find a true winner in this group – well done ABC!
Now without further ado let’s get to the bread and butter – my man-judgments. Boy’s think of me like Des’ hard to please ‘bestie.’ Ain’t nobody gettin’ to my girl without a few little barbs from me. You see, it just wouldn’t be as much fun if I was nice to you right off the bat – I’ll as for forgiveness later.
So flip through Des’ little black book – see how they measure up with a little more from each guy. Hint click in the center for a full screen view!
See I wasn’t a total witch, well… I’ll for forgiveness later! I’ll post the full gallery next week so you can check back throughout the season for your favorites.
Top 5 so far: Robert (Bobby), Zak K., Zak W., Brooks and Dan!
and don’t forget…
Monday, May 27th at 8/7c on ABC
Oh and p.s. Chris Harrison – It’s been a long rough road but I think our “break” was good for both of us. Looking forward to our reunion and moving forward with our TV screen relationship.
© Copyright 2013 – Images courtesy of ABC Studios, Next Entertainment (NTK)
We’re only a few weeks away and the promos are starting to role. On May 27th The Bachelorette is back! … and let’s be honest girls – the only reason we’re watching this season, 25 hunky bachelors are taking over the mansion in hopes to win over our Bachelorette, Desiree Hartsock’s heart.
Fresh off her season with hunky turned dancing spunky Bachelor Sean Lowe; Desiree made a tearful exit exclaiming that Sean had ‘made a mistake.’ But in an interview Des said she had “time to heal” and she knew now that he and she made the right choice. But before we let her have all the fun, what do we really know about our Bachelorette besides her down home roots and newly grown out bangs? Well here’s 10 things you should hear before re-committing to your TV on Monday nights… (more…)
Looks like our the fan favorite from Bachelor Sean Lowe’s season is going to try her hand at love! After a tearful goodbye and thinking that Sean made a “BIG MISTAKE” the 26, year old wedding dress designer from Los Angeles, CA will clearly not have far to travel. Sources tell me and have confirmed that Desiree will take to the mansion in a matter of days to start her journey to find love with 25 new bachelor suitors!
We wish you the best of luck Des and can’t wait for us to be back in May blogging the season! Just make sure you send your brother to Miss Porter’s for a few “ettiquette” classes – several weeks worth would do the man good!
Another season another happy couple! First, heartfelt congratulations to Emily and her final bachelor Jef (one f) Holm! What’s there to say about this episode besides that the ending couldn’t have been more perfect for our little southern belle. Swept off to Curacao for the final dates Emily is faced with her toughest, most heart wrenching realistic and normal decision that she has ever made in her life. After 14 weeks of taping and up rooting her life to exotic destinations and gorgeous hotels, Emily is forced to choose between our hunky racecar driver and Jef (one f) the humanitarian.
MTA = OMG = WTF = Wow you really put your foot in it. So started the “reunion show we didn’t want to miss!” I think this is one of my favorite episodes each season. Despite the fact that with each and every passing rose we lose another piece of eye candy – they were all back tonight pink pants and all! Nice, J. Wolfner – those pants would do well here in Dallas. (more…)
I’m back and it’s back! After my one week hiatus – where I could have written last episodes recap on yet another plane, yet I decided to refrain. One marg at the airport and a few on the flight could have made for an interesting post – no judgment’s people, I was on vacation – a word us young PR Girls don’t say very often. Alas on Emily’s 14 week long vacation and what could be confused as a Sandals resort on the move – we flew to Curacao. Is anyone wondering who is racking up all the airline miles for these trips? Let’s just say at the rate they are going I would quit my job and become the blogger/travel booker for the show – I’d be a gold AA member (American Airlines and Alcoholics Anonymous) before we were into BP4.
TO RICKI WITH LOVE -
After reflection, of “Chris B-ig boys don’t cry’s” departure we found Emily and Sean hitting the sky’s in a helicopter! Kalon flashbacks cross my mind as Barbie and Ken hit the sky’s for a romantic date. Sean finally in his ITM admits that he is in love with Emily and wants it to just come out naturally. Sean, though each episode is timed (more…)
Swept off to the Czech Republic to go on dates where culture is overshadowed by secrets, doubts, love proclamations and men running through streets, we found ourselves at week 7 of Emily’s journey. What should be five guys are now 6, and palms are getting twitchy! I don’t know if it was my recent mind melt from Fifty Shades of Grey or we were sitting in a Disney movie that had TONS of sexual innuendo – I am starting to spot all the wrong things in the clouds.
As Chris Harrison welcomes the men to Prague, Chris B. is overcome with nervous energy and as date cards arrived. Arie’s name is read for the first one on one. As I was watching I (more…)
Once again, I’m on a plane. Once again I’m bound for New York and once again I am drinking a “chard” and recapping the bachelorette. Of course this post wouldn’t be comical without you knowing that I am sitting next to a man going to NYC for a peer counseling conference for recovering addicts and alcoholics. Just my luck this information comes out after I get my cheap $7.00 wine. Such is life and comedy… thus to add insult to injury I order another one.
Nonetheless where the wine and beer is always flowing in bachelorette-land we are upon week 6. 7 guys, what should be 5 roses and a lot less drama with my favorite college buddy Kalon no longer in the house! You’re making it hard for us bloggers boys. You’re just too nice, humble, sweet, caring – and kinda close to bachelor franchise perfect, whatever that is worth. Where’s some Kalon drama when you need it? Though Ryan gave some great (more…)
One of the greatest things about The Bachelorette is where you watch it. If with girlfriends, it’s like a bad meeting after a sorority rush party, with your significant other enough eye-rolls to make Christian Grey so hot and bothered he would combust and then there is where I watched… the gym.
Three rows of cardio machines all with TV’s – the men, who should be watching and taking notes are in the front on bikes, mesmerized by the Kings and the Sox. (Guess we can’t fault them for being manly!) The ladies in the middle running there asses off and grinning ear to ear during Sean’s date like a bad Kathie Ireland workout video. Then there are the guys and girls in the back – a mixed bag of old creepy guys staring at the women, women who are “above watching the show” and the one guy that is actually smart enough to take in the women’s reactions while watching each smooth move, (more…)
Another week comes and goes and after seeing previews for duets in between segments – I’m convinced Jef goes to the same hair dresser as Robin Thicke! This week despite Jef’s uncooperative hair issues while sailing on a boat that is hiked out due to – oh wind, we started to see the competitive edge from Emily’s men. Team Doug battled team Chris, Team Hair raced Team Muscles, and the Mushroom farmer managed to leave his crop for one more week as the last of the dead weight to board the plane to London town. This season is about to get good! For me, watching this show is like boiling water – things are just starting to bubble and on week four we started to see tensions mount and jealousy kick in. (more…)