Yep, I was wrong! Bachelor Nation just rolled off of what seemed like a 48 hour rose colored bender and were completely blind sighted by anything and everything that we have heard about this season. I’ve watched 10 seasons, blogged 4, tweeted 5. As close as I was to it all, it was Chris who would end up with the final rose.
Now that I am off the shock wagon – let’s recap a nearly two hour montage of the newest and happily engaged Bachelorette couple Des and Chris!
We left Des at the end of part 1 heart broken, a possible proposal only a few days away. A quick starter rose ceremony left me with serious déjà vu of Ali Fedotowsky’s season – after Frank Neuschafer left she asked (final) Roberto Martinez and (runner-up) Chris Lambton the same thing – accept this because you want this, not because I am giving it to you. Two roses accepted and girl snapped back like a rubber band. It took a good night sleep and possibly a mud mask, pretty woman and some buncha crunch to get over Brooks.
DREW GETS NO PICNIC
Though she was ready for a flawless skinned date with Drew – something still wasn’t there. We had only watched 20 minutes of tears. We had 100 minutes left and she was already kicking Drew to the curb. After sitting on a blanket – all we got out of her tearful goodbye from Drew is that she wasn’t feeling it and that Drew is really good at crossing his legs. Her loins still numb, it wasn’t going to work out with the Ad Exec/model from Arizona. He literally departed the show as fast as I had ever seen.
But that wasn’t the end? We were looming the whole time that Brooks was lurking in the hull of a boat or behind a banana leaf somewhere. Surely we thought our tall doofy hair god was going to swing in on a vine or crash the boat part like Jack Sparrow… so we waited a little longer.
At the top of the hour we found ourselves on another date with Des and Chris… it was harder and harder to accept these too with the ‘Brooks bag’ swinging over our heads. But another fun in the sun day led us closer and closer to the conclusion – could it be Chris? NAH! Drew was going to bubble up from under the water in a matter of seconds. Or better yet the captain was going to rip off his wax face – revealing that Brook’s had been there the whole time! SHOCKING!
But frolicking in the water led to, dinner which led to more kissing which led to what seemed like Des was convincing herself was a good idea – “Ya I could learn to like him….” (meh…never a good sign). But it was about that time that Des introduce her last suitor to her parents and the real star of the season – her hard-ass brother, Nate.
Nate grilled Chris – he was starting to look like charred Asparagus! Even though he got the wolf in sheep’s clothing (a much nicer version than Sean’s season) Nate wasn’t afraid to share his very poignant hesitations with his sister. “Was she sure she could look this guy in the eye and without a doubt accept a proposal?”
Well the fact that we were 90-minutes in and Brooks hadn’t busted down a door already was leaving us with little hope that he really WAS coming back. It was – proposal day. Des was seemingly melancholy and Chris was looking at really, really nice rings with Neil Lane. Hours away from a proposal – still no slick-backed hair in sight.
DES’ PROPOSED TO BY CHRIS
Des was at “the altar” and Chris was getting out of the limo – at this point there was no turning back. Like my mother tells her third graders – “let go. move on.” As Chris walked towards Des we were at least given 10 seconds of prep – gathering our thoughts that yes this in fact was it. Like Des said “It took him leaving for me to realize that what I needed was right in front of me.”
All and all after a very heartfelt and sincere proposal – CONGRATS crazy kids! Des accepted Chris’ proposal – “1000 times – YES!”
Because of this BANANAS finale I had to open a second bottle for my “cheers!” Here’s to you future Siegfried’s – may there be many many ‘sorta kinda’ rhyming poems in your future. now can we see who’s going to race to the altar first? You or the Lowe’s? (Sean & Catherine).
AFTER THE FINAL ROSE
After the final rose is all about 1 thing – Chris Harrison’s redemption of his hosting skills. After playing therapist for 10 weeks, ABC needed to make sure he’s still got it and his limiting line – “This is the final rose” hadn’t found himself in a hosting rut – lackluster and charm fleeting… But nonetheless he ushered the rejected suitors out like a champ and really grilled them ‘on the issues.’
First up was the awkward turtle moment between Brooks and Des. What was even more awkward was that he didn’t know who she was engaged to. Letting Brook’s know that the unhappiness he had caused her led to a fabulous proposal and happy ending – was by far the most satisfying and uncomfortable moment. Karma sucks Brooks.
Next was an on the mend Drew. It “took him months to heal” and the process still wasn’t over. He may no longer be in love with Des but he has nothing but love for her. Whatever that means these days.
The reuniting of the newly public couple led to ooh’s and ahh’s. I’m happy we got to see the proposal again – frankly I think we were still asking “where’s Brooks” at the start of the last one. Meltworthy line: “It’s not a yes or a no – its do you want to grow old together, start a family, have kids…” SWOOON! (Yes friends – after 10 snarky posts I do have a Grinched size heart in there!)
And that’s all she wrote folks – no more 1AM Mondays writing and submitting posts. I get to break-up with my TV for exactly four months until the Bachelor returns January 6th. After all the drama, heartbreak, bumpy roads and ultimately happy ending–the rose master, therapist extraordinaire said it best – “To everyone that has been a part of this one – Goodnight!”
YOUR NEXT BACHELOR – JUAN PABLO!
Now there isn’t much to say about this except “Aye Carumba!” January snow is going to melt fast with this hot and spicy Latin lover heating up the screen. The 32-year-old father of sweet Camilla will entertain what I am sure will be an amusing lot of ladies looking to spice up their future. We can only hope that he will find what Chris and Des now have. Best of luck “Who-an” Pablo – we will be tweeting along rooting for you.
See you on Monday January 6th!
© Copyright 2013 – Images courtesy of ABC Studios, Next Entertainment (NZK)