THE BEST ADVICE I WAS EVER GIVEN

March 26, 2018

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Does anyone else get that itch around March/April to make a change?

Cleaning out closets, planning warmer vacations – anything to make it feel like a spring renewal is at my doorstep! Please dear God give me that Vitamin D!

OUTFIT: Ralph Lauren Turtleneck (on sale!) | Ann Taylor Skinny Leg Jean | Nine West Slides (under $50!)| Apolis Market Bag

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Funny thing – the itch of change.

Come spring I’m ready for spring clothes but no idea what to buy. Come vacation season, where to plan and go? So, I often go searching for inspiration. Online carts overfloweth!   

But though those new “change agent” jeans sit in my Shopbop cart (hello rebellious ripped knee), and doodles of floor plans seem teeming with possibility, I still end up with eyelet in the closet and my bed in the same sunlit corner. So, why am I such a creature of habit?

After batting this topic back and forth with a few friends, we figured that habit was just a foundation to make changes on. That go-to black dress is the confidence on your first date, those favorite jeans, a comfy Saturday around town with coffee at a favorite spot. Habit, even when you’re itching for a change, keeps you centered.

So habit got me thinking beyond my purchases and favorite New York coffee spots and more into the guiding advice that has been my bedrock for change. In fact, it’s some of the best advice I’ve ever been given.

On Career: I had a very senior leader at my very first company give me this advice when I was leaving my Dallas office and moving to New York. I live by this cycle especially in business. It’s my favorite gut check for anything career related.

Your career moves through 4 boxes, which one are you in?

  •    Box 1: Unconsciously, Incompetent – You have no idea that you are totally unqualified to take on this new job.
  •    Box 2: Consciously, Incompetent – The “Oh Shit!” I don’t think I can do this light comes on but it doesn’t last long.
  •    Box 3: Consciously, CompetentWelcome to cruise control – you know it, can do it and have found your groove.
  •    Box 4: Unconsciously, CompetentAuto-pilot – you’re no longer being challenged. Disinterested and could do your role in your sleep. Time to make a change!

On Life: I took a class on communication performance in college – while we were reciting poems in front of a class of 100 – it was the subtext of that class, to tame the voice inside your head that was the best lesson I’ve ever learned.

“If you don’t like something, all you have to do is change your mind.”

Change what you can control – your thoughts and perception. Harness the power to change your mind. This one seems the simplest, but to me – the most powerful.

On Relationships: Someday I’ll write the book of idioms that shaped every piece of great advice my grandmothers gave me. This one, just like spotting a bag, is the easiest way to spot a fake, a blowhard, a bragger and someone desperate for change.

“Empty barrels make the most noise.”

Now while these “principles” may not get me to hit purchase on those ripped jeans, they do help me walk a little taller and put a smile on this “in need of sun” face. So here’s to change, and spring, may your words to live by guide you into a new season too!

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